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That is all.
:)

Christmas Deer

Ive come to some revelations within the last few days
Im scared, excited, nervous of what might happen
A fresh start is well deserved

Keep you posted..

Snatch n Grab

Why are things so hard and complicated
I am definately in over my head
And going with my strong willed personality always taking too much i can handle.
Leaving me where I am now.
Upset and confused.

It just goes, you help someone out, you expect it would be returned?
Only in my case its never returned to full value.
Or am i just being selfish and asking too much?
Or even worse if you have to ask for it to be returned?

Definately doing a full circle talking bullshit
but this is how my mind is working at the moment.

Im definately in a postion i shouldnt be dealing with, but someone with life experience and wisdom with psychological bullshit.
Coz im starting to crack, when you do this for so long and try to help and of course when you dont see results theres that lack of disapointment and anger.

I feel like this is just dragging us both down, and im willing to try as im one who doesnt give up on things that i feel passionate about, but if the heart isnt there then what is?

Ive given so much, one might even say too much not to be arrogant, but the amount of bullshit ive been though you probablly wouldnt believe.
Yet im still here.

I dont expect much, but i do expect sinceriety.
And on occasion for me to be put first for once.
><

Holidaez

My to do list:

-Read my books

-Buy a storage cupboard and do it up. Paint black and pink

-Go through clothes

-Tidy and sort out my sewing stuff

-Scan old photos

-Put up and decorate Christmas Tree :D

-Find Black Dahlia- Unhallowed cd ><>

And watch endless amounts of movies and dvd series i needa catch up on

Fuck the system

Since having to resubmit, ive just felt really down and not myself falling asleep at 7:30 yesterday and waking up at 10 i still felt drained. Today was even worse as i ended up getting a migrane, whilst at work...
And finding out that pretty much everyone else has gotten good marks, why me?
All for using fucking cardboard, since the teacher assessing doesnt like it, only to find out someone else had used cardboard and got a credit.
Its bullshit.
Since doing this course i have realised the double standards which apply to differnt people, and how teachers say they never have favourites. Fuck that.
I can pinpoint right now who they would be.
I have worked my ass off this semsester, but what is only noticed is when i miss one day of school and im told that if i turned up i would learn something.
I have been to every image making class but 1.
Whats with that.
I dunno if the teacher is just racist or just doesnt like me...
I know i havent done anything wrong to be judged in this way...
Which makes me ask, would i be happier moving away to study where maybe im given an equil opportunity to be assessed?
Because im not going to give up, i know what i want, and i might not be good at it yet, but im going to do this.
Everyone says its their passion and what not.
But it really is, and i dont care what the teachers say either way.
I have alot i wanna learn and ill be prepared to do it elsewhere if need be.

What to do with you

Youuuuuuuuuuuu.

Im not sure what im meant to do anymore.

Ive grown tired of this cycle.

I wish you'd break the habit.

Ill never leave your side.

But please atleast try.

It kills me to think whats happening inside your head.

Do what you can.

I wish there was something i could do.

I feel its never enough.

Help yourself.

Help us.

<3

My Christmas List

Black bookcase/storage

Betsey Laptop Bag

GPS

Hello Kitty Planner

2 More Days

Until i get my life back for a couple of months and i cannot wait!!!!

Protecht has been an interesting experience and i have definately learnt alot, fineally coping with time management and taking the stress alot better.

But have lost a social life in the process of it.

But atleast im glad to say this course will benefit me alot more than i can say for others, who work their 9-5 shitty retail jobs with shitty customers and shitty pay.

And i hate the fact that none of them think i work damn hard at this course, and that its "just" sewing.

Its a fucking bachelor of design, 5 days a week, and assignments coming out of my ass constantly!

And that is all i would like to say.

I hate repetiting myself, and justfying why its not what they expect it to be.

I didnt even expect it to be this full on.

The end.

Telephony

Im already kicking into holiday mode, i can taste the freedom, sleep ins, long nights, lazy days, foreshore, and beach trips...
Only 3 weeks of school left, and will probs be the most stressful time of the year but trying to take it easy and have fun with it.
Im defs in a much better position now than i have ever been.
I dont care for much these days only caring about people who appreciate me, and finealllyyyyy got my shit back, i did have to go pick it up but fineally!

Had an interesting/fun weekend playing house with Michael.
Haha the dear made me dinner Chicken with side serving of risotto
and playing Forza and sucking at that shit.
But i now own a Saleen something something in pastel pink
;)

I also conformed and bought an iphone, i didnt want to as my first choice being a htc touch pro 2, but optus doesnt provide me with it! Coz mine is totally shit only having windows mobile 6.1 and no upgrade til who knows when...
So iphone is best on market atm and is growing on me but i still cant typeee <3 qwerty keypads..


oh and did i mention Foreshore?